How to Build Mental Strength

AMY MORIN: Mental state is really a continuum. Everybody possesses it to some degree, just like physical strength, but people aren’t either mentally strong or mentally weak, it’s that we have a certain amount of mental strength. And then we can always choose to become stronger. There’s always room for improvement. It’s all about the choices you make, the exercises you do, and the way that you choose to live your life. You know it’s a problem when you feel like you’re not reaching your greatest potential. When you know that there were things you could be doing but you don’t do it because something’s holding you back, it’s usually our mindset. There’s something going on that’s causing us to not take those steps that we want to take. So there’s a big difference between being mentally strong and acting tough, and a lot of people get that mixed up.

So when people are acting tough, we’ll say things like, failure isn’t an option. Well, if you want to be mentally strong, it’s more about recognizing failure might actually happen, but I’m strong enough to deal with it if it does. So whether you’re going to ask for a promotion or you’re going to apply for a new job, it’s not about positive thinking and thinking this is definitely going to turn out right, maybe it’s about realistic thinking and recognizing this may not work, but to also remind yourself you’re strong enough to handle it. So anxiety is meant to keep us safe. If you didn’t have any anxiety, you wouldn’t look both ways before you crossed the road. If there’s a hungry lion chasing you, you knew to run. And somewhere along the lines, we started confusing say social rejection and small failures in the office, we’re thinking that somehow that’s dangerous.

In today’s world, we don’t face nearly as many of those same physical kinds of dangers. Maybe it is a social risk, maybe it’s a financial risk, but our brains often have false alarms. If you’re in a situation where you’re in physical danger, you want that alarm bell to go off. But you don’t want it to go off when you’re just say asking for a raise, because it makes it much more difficult to do. So just recognizing, I’m not in danger, my body thinks I am, and that’s why my heart is beating fast and my palms are sweaty. But that just because you feel that way, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take the risk. An important part of building mental strength is about doing things that challenge you. Just like if you wanted to build physical strength, you need to lift weights. And when those weights aren’t heavy anymore, you need to lift heavier weights.

So it comes down to recognizing what’s kind of uncomfortable for you and how do you take those steps? And it’s different for all of us. For some people, speaking up in a meeting is terrifying. For other people, it’s no big deal. They can’t stop talking, in fact. So to just recognize, what are some small things I could do that would challenge myself? And it might be striking up a conversation at a networking event.It might be saying I’m going to speak up two times in every meeting I go to. Or maybe it’s about I’m going to respond to emails and say no, because I’m a people pleaser. Just asking yourself, what are some small things that I could do that would be a little bit risky that would challenge me to step outside my comfort zone? And then keep practicing it until it doesn’t get scary anymore.

The more that you keep challenging yourself at a moderate pace, the more that you realize you’re stronger than you think, and you’ll actually train your brain to see yourself as more capable and more competent than you think that you are. Because there’s a good chance right now your brain will talk you out of doing anything that’s uncomfortable. Your brain wants you to stay in your comfort zone, so it will tell you, don’t apply for that new job. Don’t speak up in that meeting, nobody is going to listen to you. Don’t volunteer to give a presentation. But when you do those things, even though your brain’s telling you not to, your brain will start to shift. It’ll start to see, OK, maybe you can do these things. Once you train your brain to think differently, it becomes easier, because then your brain won’t try to talk you out of doing anything that’s uncomfortable.

And sometimes, you just have to think about worst case scenario. You apply for a promotion, and you don’t get it. Well, then how would you handle that? What would you do? And sometimes we imagine ourselves just so fragile that we think we can’t handle it. We think, oh, I’ll be so sad. I’ll be so embarrassed. But to really just take a minute and think, well, how could I handle feeling sad? How can I handle my embarrassment in a healthy way? Just reminding yourself of that can give you the courage to take the leap. So even though I’ve been talking about mental strength for years now, I continue to still challenge myself and find things that are tough. Again, it’s not always about what other people might think is tough. I can get on stage, and I can speak in front of a group of people, and I feel like that is comfortable.

But sometimes what’s not as comfortable is say, going to a networking event where I don’t know anybody. So I challenge myself before I walk in the door, I’m going to meet five people when I’m here today. And so I’m always finding different ways in my life to say, how do I get better? How can I get stronger? How can I challenge myself to be slightly uncomfortable? And life gets so much easier. The things that I used to find difficult, no problem now. And so I just always am working at, how do you just stay just uncomfortable enough that you feel like you’re growing, learning, and building more mental muscle?

• You are a a consultancy team hired to create a short workshop on “Building Mental Strength for Workplace Success.“
• The workshop should include:
  1. Three key challenges professionals face in developing mental resilience.
  2. Practical strategies or techniques to overcome these challenges.
  3. A motivational anecdote or example to inspire the audience.
• Collaborate with your classmates to brainstorm, organise ideas, and prepare a 3-minute presentation.
• The audience (other groups) listens, takes notes, and prepares one follow-up question per group.
• Use the following language:
• Vocabulary: Resilience, perseverance, stress management, adaptability, mindfulness, emotional intelligence, overcoming setbacks, grit, growth mindset, self-care, compassion.
• Expressions:
  • To bounce back from adversity.
  • To stay positive in the face of challenges.
  • To develop coping mechanisms.
  • To prioritize self-care.
  • To learn from setbacks.
  • To cultivate a positive mindset.
  • To build emotional intelligence.
  • To seek support from colleagues and mentors.
  • To set realistic goals and expectations.
  • To take breaks and recharge.

• You are part of a team working on a challenging project that is facing significant setbacks. Team morale is low, and some members are expressing doubts about the project’s success.
• Objective: As a team, brainstorm and develop a plan to boost team morale and maintain mental strength during this challenging period.
• Output: A concise presentation outlining your team’s plan, including specific strategies and action steps.

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