Meeting the parents
Starting Point. Discuss the questions below.
Do you remember meeting your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents the first time?
How did you feel about it?
Were you worried about making a bad impression?
Was it easy for you to talk to the parents?
Did meeting the family for the first time stress you out?
Why would meeting the parents go sideways?
They should …..
- have good table manners.
- be clean and smartly dressed.
- be from a good family background.
- be kind.
- be good-looking.
- be a non-smoker.
- be about the same age as the son/daughter.
- have good academic qualifications.
- like children.
- have a good job / good job prospects.
- be from the same social class.
- have the same religion as the son / daughter.
- be wealthy / have wealthy parents.
- be the same nationality as the son/daughter.
Predictions.Â
In this video, you will see 8 international / mixed nationality and/or ethnicity couples who talk about their experiences with the parents of their partners.
Look at the pictures on the left. What sort of problems and/or awkward situations do you expect based on the couples differing ethnicities? What personal qualities might make them get on well? What kind of positive things/effects do you expect?
I’d expect them to ….
They might ….
They could ….
It might be easy for them to ….
It is probably difficult for them to…
It must be irritating when ….
Focus on Listening. Watch the video. Read the transcript below if necessary.
Transcript
I always feel awkward when greeting your family and having to to do this.
Yes, and nobody actually does that anymore.
I just have you do it.
Do you do it?
I, like, have to it, oh yeah, no, just be like hi.
First time Hans ever met my dad was at my college graduation.
When I met, um, Sofia’s mother, ah, that was very interesting, too, because I haven’t gotten the whole like Colombian, I guess, greeting down were you, okay, maybe peck the cheek or something. Yeah because it’s so awkward.
first sentence, he, like, took the initiative to say to you…And what was that?
So Hans, are you going to be going to grad school?
I’ll say the thing that was really interesting was talking to your mom about what it was like growing up in, like, the 50s and 60s, and travelling in the south. And, I obviously knew, I knew that racism, you know, segregation existed not that long ago, but not until I spoke to someone who is now family hearing it, like, tore my heart into two.
if you find somebody attractive physically, or however, you also have to find them attractive in a cultural sense. You have to understand that they will be different in many different ways that you may know at the beginning, or you may not know, and you have to ,sort of, you have to be accepting of those differences.
And in the Latin culture, in general, families, are very tight.
We really give a big hug and umm two kisses in the cheek, and somehow that confuse her.
Pablo comes from a more, sort of, conservative buttoned up …. Well, yea,h yeah, like, yeah catholic, they were not expecting…, yeah.
My parents immigrated in 1988. So, like, two years before I was born. Like, you struggle so long to become successful in the, kind of, foreign country. That’s a big driver towards, um, being successful economically.
It’s forced me to reconsider, like, you know, I guess, my norms about, like, what it is to be a good parent and, like, how parents interact with their kids.
Speaking of culture, when I told my dad we’re engaged, he was, like, oh in ‘Zena’s culture’ you don’t have to ask the father first.
Funny thing is, though, Zena’s the one who proposed to me, though ….
So it’s really great I’ve learned more Spanish, I’ve learned more Spanish culture.
I’ve done a lot of very white things that I’ve never done before…
Such as?
Such as going to a Christmas tree farm and cutting down a Christmas tree.
Honduran food.
I would never have gone to Guyanese fest to Brooklyn if it wasn’t for Zena and that was really…. and become ,quote-unquote, an honorary Guyanese person according to her grandfather.
I feel like it’s a constant learning experience. And it definitely brings us challenges, but I think that’s the fun part, you know, being able to recognize your differences and keep growing from them.
My name is Pablo. My name is Ning. And we are global citizens.
I’m Julia I’m Will. And we are global citizens
Focus on Comprehension. Answer the questions below about the video.
Focus on Speaking. Part 1
What do these expressions mean in spoken English?
- Like
- Sort of
- Kind of
- I guess
- umm
Focus on Speaking. Part 2
What would you do if your child….
- chose to marry someone from a different continent/ethnicity?
- wanted to live in a foreign country?
- wanted to start smoking?
- decided to take up a dangerous sport?
- wanted to have an unusual and/or low-paid profession?
- decided to become vegan?